Elements Combined- Bruce x Reader

To the girl I told to run away
The ghost I saw a hundred times a day
You weren't like me, no you weren't afraid

Bruce’s heart broke at the tears in your eyes as you blinked it him in disbelief before turning on your heel to leave him alone.

Alone is what he had.

Alone protected him… protected you.

That was what was important, right?  

He sank down in the chair at his station in the lab, holding his head in his hands as what he’d just done sank in. He’d told you, the woman he loved, to leave- to get out of his life. And the reason he gave? He didn’t love you. The hurt in your eyes had torn him apart inside but he needed you to run. He needed you to run from him to someone who could keep you safe.

Someone who wasn’t a monster.

He ruffled a hand through his chocolate curls knowing there would be more gray hairs after this and then leaned forward to throw himself into his work as a distraction.

It didn’t work.

The lab felt empty without you there but at the same time somehow so crowded, so full of memories. Everywhere he looked he saw you- laughing, working, thinking. He could almost feel you-winding your arms around him from behind, kissing his cheek, brushing the disheveled curls away from his face. You hadn’t cared about the danger, about the beast inside him. It didn’t scare you.

But it scared him.

Where you were brave he was a coward.

Better to be a coward than to wake up and find you killed by his own hand.

You are elements combined
Earth, air, fire, wine
Someday you'll be mine
Elements combined

You went straight to Avenger’s training room, a clap of lightening sending Steve and Clint running and leaving you alone.

Always alone.

After all this time you’d hoped things were different, that by some miracle you’d found a place in this harsh world- a place with Bruce.

Lies.

Delusions.

You would always be alone.

You flopped on the bed of dirt in the room that was just for you, using you power over the elements to sink down into it until it surrounded you like a cocoon… or a coffin. Then you let everything out- all of it. The pain. The anger. The loss.

A rain cloud formed over you, pouring water down on you to turn the dirt into mud that clung to you skin as the tears ran down your face. That wasn’t enough for this moment. You needed to let out more. The barriers you kept up to protect yourself and others slowly broke down as you let the ever-present fire within you envelope your body. The streaks of mud on your skin charred to soot and the rain turned to a hiss of steam as it hit the intense blue flames.

You loved him.

You’d trusted him completely, let him see you at your worst and forgave him when you saw him at his. You stuck with him through thick and thin. He was your best friend. You would have gone to the ends of the earth for him.

You still would.

You stuck around but we didn't fly
Weighed down by all I hid behind my eyes
I only hope that you realize
You are elements combined
Earth, air, fire, wine
Someday you'll be mine

“Bruce?”

The hagard physicist looked up to find Tony looking down at him with his lips set in a hard line, “What are you doing, bro?”

Bruce just shook his head, whispering, “You don’t understand. You can’t understand.”

“She stood by you! Through everything! Picked up the pieces every time you lost it. Forgave you. What’s there to understand?!” he yelled, trying to get through to his friend.

“She deserves better.”

“No shit, Bruce! She deserves for you to man up and stop acting like a selfish coward!”

Bruce just looked down at his lap, Tony couldn’t understand. He didn’t know what it was like to be a monster. To live every single day afraid that it might be the day he loses it and destroys everything he loves. To toss and turn in the night with dreams of death and destruction by his own hand. To have that voice inside his mind telling him he wasn’t good enough, that he was weak.  Those were the things he hid. The things he never wanted anyone to see.

He wasn’t allowed to love… especially not someone as amazing as you. You could light the room with the brightness of your smile, soothe his mind with the the breathy lilt of your voice, help him grow a smile with the gentle graze of your lips against his. You were the fire in his life, the air in his lungs, and you’d planted yourself in his firmly in his heart.

Something in his mind clicked then.

He looked over at Tony in horror, “What have I done?”

I'll bury all excuses, burn all the reasons why
I can't be everything you want, everything you need

He could make all the excuses he wanted, come up with reasons why the two of you shouldn’t be together all day long, and maybe they were true, maybe they were right, but at the end of it all you were the light in his life. Just a few hours without you made his life seem eternally and devastatingly grey. You were everything he needed, everything he wanted, and maybe he couldn’t be everything you needed, or he thought you needed, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try for every hour of every day for the rest of his life.

He came to the training room and cautiously pushed the door open, eyes widening when he saw the state you were in. This was his fault. He’d been so blind and selfish. So caught up in his own concerns. He had to make this right.

“(F/n)?”

“Go away, Bruce. I don’t want your pity”

“I’m here to apologize. W-What I said before…”

He grappled for the right words before sighing in defeat, “I was trying to protect you from… well… me.”

A small bolt of lightening struck the wall near you and he jumped, taking a few hesitant steps closer to you, “I lied to push you away. So that you would be safe. It was wrong. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

The fire around you went out as you tearfully breathed, “Why, Bruce?”

He knelt next to you and you turned your head slightly to look into his eyes, “What goes through your head? What demons tell you that I’d be better off without you?”

Your eyes bore into his very soul and he had to turn away, opening his mouth a few times only to shut it again. The rain stopped as you started to get a handle on your emotions, pulling all that you’d let out back inside again. Wet fingers dragged against his skin as you reached out to lift his face to meet yours again, “Whatever they are they’re wrong. I need you just as much as you need me. Tell me, Bruce. Tell me what hides in the dark corners on your mind.”

We talk a lot but it's always small
Tiny bricks that make a giant wall
I hope these words are a wrecking ball

He met your gaze for a moment, looking ashamed and lost, and you sat up, pulling him into the mud with you, “I want to understand, Bruce. If we need to take a step back for a while that’s ok but you have to talk to me.”

You wrapped your arms around him when he buried his face in your shoulder and let out a shaky sigh. The mess of curls brushed against your cheek and you tucked your nose into them as you whispered, “Let me past this wall you’ve built.”

“I’m… afraid.”

“I know. It’s ok.”

You are elements combined
Earth, air, fire, wine
Someday you'll be mine

'Cause you are elements combined
Earth, air, fire, wine
Someday you'll be mine